This question is more complicated for me then it probably should be. I’m likely to get a bit off topic trying to answer it too. Here we go, let’s see how I do…
I remember calling other kids up on the landline, uncertain as to whether my friend would pick up or their father (cringe) or worse yet calling up a boy and having his dad pick up. I remember the anxiety of still not being able to tell my friend’s voice apart from her big sister’s on the phone and having them both be mad at me.
There were some great things about human interaction back then, mainly that there was more of it, but unfortunately there were some not-so-great things, like there was more of it. 😂 These days when I call someone they already know it’s me and I know its them, so that’s a load off.
I also hardly call at all and usually opt to text which means I don’t get to hear that voice.
Today’s technology allows me to keep this blog which has been really good for me.
I’m a writer, not a talker. I’ve said for years that I have a missing wire between my brain and my mouth. Some of you who have heard my voice when I do readings have asked me if that is my real voice or some kind of AI, or if I run my voice through an app.
Nope. That’s me, raw and unfiltered. Marilyn Monroe talked the way she did because she had a stutter. I don’t stutter but I have this issue where I can’t talk and think at the same time. It’s one or the other. Because of it I have long gaps when I speak (just like my character, Lothar). Because of this I have to talk slowly. People are always talking over me or not letting me finish. It’s generally assumed that I’m stupid, or slow because of it.
Mostly I’m just treated as if I were a ditz. It makes relationships hard for me because even people I’ve known for years will treat me like my IQ is about half of what it actually is. Because of this, I often feel trapped inside of my own head. (Like Lothar, yes. Also like Danielle who is pitied by the other werewolves for her mental disorder).
Thus the writing, and the stories, and characters like Lothar who often finds himself trapped inside his own head. Fortunately for him he’s male so he’s seen as the strong silent type. When you’re a woman you don’t usually have that luxury.
All of that said, what would I change? Not blogging or self-publishing. Not texting. Maybe I would make people a little more forgiving when having one on one interaction with other people. I think things have changed somewhat for the better in that area, but it’s got some way still to go.
Darcy Branwyn 
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